Tuesday, 25 June 2013

LAWS OF MARRIAGE (PART 1)




My Laws of Marriage
Excerpt from the book “Married Men and Married Boys
By ‘Abayomi John Elliott’

Law means rules, commandments, regulations or decree; but what it does is to guide or govern people on certain issues about life, government, ethics, profession or religion etc. So my law of marriage says that ‘do it’ if you have what it takes and ‘don’t do it’ if you don’t have what it takes to go into marriage. I therefore point out these laws to govern you if you are thinking of going into marriage now or you are already in marriage and certain things are just not right. Whatever you noticed is not right about your marriage can be found among the under listed laws for you who is already in marriage; and for you who is about to go into it, all you need to know about marriage are there for you to grasp and prepare for it.

Any of the laws that affect you negatively with all sincerity, it means you are still a boy who goes into marriage or about to go into it. And anyone that affects you positively means that you are a man in the marriage; but then, you can still improve on some of those laws for a better result:
1.   Marriage is for people with passion and are happy going into it not that they are been forced to go into it.
2.   Marriage is for people or men who think of their family first in everything when they are about to take a decision.
3.   It is not for self-centred or selfish people.
4.   Marriage is for men who are mature in think and reasoning.
5.   It is for men who are ready to reason with their wives before action or decisions are made.
6.   Marriage is for men with creative minds and ideas.
7.   Marriage is for men who are bread winners of their family, the scriptures say that any man that cannot provide for his house hold is worse than infidel. (1Tim. 5:8)

Marriage is for men who can help their wives at home to wash dishes, toilets/bathrooms and do other general house cleaning. This does not in anyway, make you a slave or house boy to your wife, it only shows the extent to which you love her. I do help my wife a lot at home in doing all kinds of works that are more than the mentioned ones above; and this does not make her house boy or something. In
fact; it makes her look younger than anybody would imagine, because she is not been over used such that she would become older than her age. I can confidently tell you that my wife is beautiful as ever because I am not over using her for whatever reason; the bible even says that wives are helper for men from the creation.    Gen 2:20 ‘So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him’ .Wives are not house help or slaves to their husbands as some men  has seen them to be so; fear God and what is good and right before Him concerning how you treat your wives.

8.   Marriage is for people or men who treat their wives as friends, partners and not as slave or sex or roommate.
9. Marriage is for people or men who are ready to shun or hate anything to do with strange women outside his home; he does not flirt and sleep with them, eat their food and cleave to their own wives only.
   10. Marriage is for men who listen to their wives advises and seeks
     her consent too before doing anything

Thursday, 20 June 2013

HOW TO WRITE A GOOD C.V. (CURRICULUM VITAE)



3 THINGS A JOB SEEKER MUST KNOW ABOUT C.V.
  1. Your C.V is as good as you are
  2. Your C.V speak and tell your employers and the general public of who you are
  3. Your C.V is the expression of who and what you can do and it tells the handlers how to treat your matter
THE MAJOR ELEMENTS
Elements in C.V writing are the basic things that your C.V must contain, these are fundamental and are essential. Example are :

-   Your desired objectives and goals as it relates with your productivity and delivery
    when you are employed.

-    Personal information about your person i.e your name, sex, date of  birth, state of
     origin etc

-   Educational Background/Qualification etc

-   Previous work experiences

-   Special skills, personal interest in the area of your profession

-   Referees

ORDER OF PRESENTATION

Personal Information- These are information that relates to you, items of information that identify who you are in a nutshell. It must be precise and brief e.g Name, Sex, Marital Status, Date of Birth, State of Origin/LGA, Religion and finally Nationality or Contact Address.

Work Experience- These are your detailed information about your past experiences of where and what you have done so far in the area of work after school. It must contain the names of the companies/address, your title or post, dates of the employment and various responsibilities assigned to you during these period.

Educational Background- These are information that tells your supposed employer all they need to know about your educational status, schools attended and qualifications so far with various dates.

Skill/Area of interest- This area informs your supposed employer your capability, skills and interests as it relates to your profession and career and/or other and how it can be of immense advantage  or benefit to the company.

Referees- This area talks about people who knows you and can actually say a lot about you and your experience on the job when they are called upon. They are either your past immediate boss, subordinates or colleagues in the same career/profession and also people who can stand in for you in case of eventualities.

WHAT YOU MUST NOT INCLUDE IN YOUR C.V.
Your C.V is another way of telling people about your profile and whatever people read in your C.V. is what they take home or take you for. So, you must be guided and be careful of what and how you present every information you put in your C.V. You must avoid errors like spelling, grammar or typographical etc.

q  Your objectives/goals should never come as the last item in your C.V. or in between it.

q  If your father or mother, uncle, husband or friend has no knowledge about your career or profession and will not be in the best position to answer questions from anyone who wishes to employ you for a job, don’t put them as your referees.

q  Let your C.V. be precise, decent and well written. Never try to mange or mince space, every items of your C.V. must speak for themselves and all come out neat and tidy.

q  Never compromise your chances in presenting a C.V. for any job, by not getting a good photocopy/copier when there is need for it. Any photocopy that makes your work look rough or untidy, don’t manage it, reject it and go for the best because you are selling yourself and your C.V. is your profile as well. Note that a well presented and designed C.V. earns you more mark and attention in some cases you may not know it. It happens to me.

q  Never tell lies about your age in your C.V. because before long, the truth will be reveal.

q  Never present other people’s results as your results, it is dangerous and it is a
           criminal act punishable under the law.

q  Never claim to be who and what you are not in your C.V. because time will tell.

q  Order of schools should start from the last school you attend and end with the
           school you started with in your life  and in accordance with their dates.

q  Never make mistake of not putting your contact information such as phone
           numbers, email address and other means of contacting you in your C.V.

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU GO FOR AN INTERVIEW
Never arrive for interview late

* Dress well to show that you actually come for the interview. I had attended an interview where a guy came with slippers and T-Shirt and he was asked to go back home and come another time. I doubt if that guy will be attended to at the next appointment.

* Never wear heavy make-ups and don’t wear dresses that shows all you are expected to cover as a lady.

* Never be desperate as to wanting to bribe your way into a company during interview. I went for an interview and a guy was so desperate and offer to give the people in charge of the exercise 20% of his first salary if they help him get the job. What do you think such a guy will become if he has to work in accounting or financial department where money is to be handled?

Never go for interview to gist or to show the stuff you are made of, concentrate on what you went there for, get focused and prepare to come out successfully in your interview

      Always do your best and live the rest for God to handle.

      Never live your home for interview without praying of committing the whole exercise into God’s hands.

      Never go for interview to be eating in the open or to sleep to the extent of snoring, it is a bad habit.

      Have an enduring, friendly and cheerful attitude when you go for interview, it
           does help. Don’t be rude or insulting to whoever attended to you throughout
           your stay in the interview arena.

HOW YOUR C.V. MUST LOOK LIKE
Since your c.v speaks about you, then you must then ensure the following:

q  Your c.v. must be designed by an expert typist who knows how a c.v. should look like and just typed like ordinary word documents.

q  Your c.v. must be typed/designed with computer and not ordinary type-writer.

q  Your c.v. must not be ambiguous

q  Your c.v. must be precise

q  Every detail information needed by your employer to take a concrete and decisive action on your person must be included, for instance, some people live out the portion of ‘Referees’ blank in their c.v. with the intention  of responding to it when the company called them to ask. No, what suggest to you that they will call you again.  You may not even have another chance or opportunity to speak with the company or hear from them and in most cases you are termed as unserious person.

ANSWERING QUESTIONS AT THE INTERVIEW
Some people go for interview not sure of themselves or what they can do or offer
as regards the work they applied for and at the end they loose out and not able to
convince their employer or interviewer of what they know or can do about the job.
I am vast in the use of computer and internet, then I entered into administration,
anytime I attended interviews, I take control of myself, my thinking, answers and
because of my knowledge and ability in my area of specialization, I always end up
convincing the interviewers that I am the right candidate for the job as far
experience is concern.
Note that, you might not have the require qualification at some point and you
Want to attend an interview with what you have, but let your experience,
competence and courage speak for you. All these have helped me on several
occasion and I was always been called up for the jobs in some cases I turned down
the offer if am not interested.

Other things you must prepare for when you go for an interview:
q  Never attend interview late

q  Don’t enter the interview room to seat down until you are told to do so.

q  Don’t panic, be bold, courageous and be confident in yourself.

q  Try to answer one question at a time.

q  Any question you don’t know, don’t tell lie or try to impress the interviewers by saying wrong things. Simply say or tell them that you don’t know and don’t ever waste the panel’s time.

q  When it appears as if you are been rushed by the interviewers as they throw questions at you, be calm, don’t be offended or allow your temper to rise such that can confuse you. Simply tell them in a polite way that they should allow the questions to come one after another so that you can answer them correctly. If the job you apply for is such that you must face pressure from the public, your interviewers or employer might want to test your temperamental status, so, you must keep it cool and calm.

q  Never live an interview without asking question(s), get to know what the company you come to do or their area of business. Ask every interesting questions that will help you to take a good decision whether if they employ you for the job, you will take it or not. Remember, not all jobs you can take or venture into.

q  If you are not satisfied with your performance at the interview, never live the arena with hurts or anger in your mind, at least let it not be obvious that you are angry or hurt. Live the interview arena peacefully, quietly and smiling.

q  After the interview, try to live the interview arena and go home, don’t stay or hang around and begin to gist with other people by trying to tell them what to do and what not to do when it is their turn to go in.

 Sincerely Yours
Abayomi John Elliott











Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Rapist & murderer pictured walking to the gallows ...

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Rapist & murderer pictured walking to the gallows ...: These images show the last moments of two condemned criminals immediately before they were executed in Kuwait for crimes which have shoc...

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

DATING Etiquette Part 2

Eight Dos and Don’ts
Whether you’re on your first date with a new person or the hundredth one with your significant other, you want to have a great time, without embarrassing yourself or being embarrassed by your partner. 
Likewise, you don’t want to be one of those couples who have nothing to talk about at dinner, and you definitely don’t want to be the date who dominates the conversation and doesn’t let the other person get a word in edgewise.

Following these dos and don’ts of dating etiquette will help you sit back, relax, and enjoy a fulfilling date:

1. Don’t be afraid of silence.
There are so many different styles of communicating that it’s often difficult to use the right style at the right time. A woman who can engage in the conversation at the appropriate time is very sexy. Being a wallflower and not saying anything at all can give off the wrong impression. He may think you’re mad or not enjoying yourself, or he may think, “She’s just not that into me.” On the other hand, a surefire way to turn a man off? Cut him off or don’t let him get a word in. And, remember, a pause in conversation is okay. It’s better to have a moment of silence to collect your thoughts than to talk just to fill the space.

2. Do smile!
The sexiest thing that you can do on a date is smile. More than they’re drawn to a sexy dress, men are attracted to women who smile. But it doesn’t stop there. A beautiful smile is irresistible! You’re like a magnet that will draw people to you. A smile puts everyone at ease and makes you approachable in social situations. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel awkward, try smiling and see if it doesn’t change your environment. How often do we sit with a frown or scowl on our faces? Try smiling instead.

3. Don’t drink too much!
When you are on a date, you may be inclined to drink a little more than usual to help you loosen up. Ladies, do not by any means try to match a man drink for drink. And gentlemen, under no circumstance should you suggest to your date that she drink more than she’s able to handle. You are not in college any more, and your goal on a date is not to get as drunk as possible.


The best way to prevent yourself from getting drunk on a date is to never drink on an empty stomach. It is always best to have a meal or appetizers when alcohol is involved. A very good rule of thumb is to drink one glass of water for every drink you have.

4. Don’t pick up that cell phone!
When you are on a date, be fully present in the moment with the person whom you are on a date with. If he/she set aside time to spend with you, then you should honor it and never take a call or text during your date. Nothing, besides an emergency, is that important that it cannot wait a few hours for you to respond. If you do need to take an urgent call or text, make sure you tell her/him who it is and why you have to take it, so she/he doesn’t assume it’s another woman/man on the other end.

5. Do ask open-ended questions. To keep the conversation flowing naturally, ask questions that encourage answers in paragraphs rather than ones that encourage yes/no answers. For instance, “What do you do for fun?” instead of “Do you play tennis?”

6. Do politely interrupt. If it feels like you’re just doing all the asking and your partner is doing all the talking, balance it out by sharing your own answers when your date pauses. If it’s been a ten-minute one-sided discourse about stamp collecting, you can say, “It sounds like you’ve got some great collectibles there. My favorite hobby is salsa dancing. I’ve been taking lessons once a week at the community center. It’s great exercise and makes me feel like I’m visiting a tropical paradise …”

7. Don’t be late. Try your very best to be on time or, if possible, early for a date. If you arrive late, it signals to your date that you had better things to do than honor his/her time with a prompt arrival.

8. Do maintain an open mindset. Don’t let one minor snafu ruin an entire date. So you spilled your wine within five minutes of meeting this new guy? Let it go! The only thing worse than spilled wine is fixating on it for the rest of the meal. Be present.

Likewise, when you part ways, don’t jump to any fixed conclusions about the date. Don’t feel like you have to make a judgment call about date number two as soon as you leave date number one. Sleep on it. Allow your mind to change, as it certainly will anyway! If you’re in a relationship, dinner dates can start to run together—but if you keep an open mind, you allow for the possibility of experiencing something new with your partner that you might miss if you’re only looking for the same old thing.

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

PREGNANT VIRGIN!

My school mother, Dr Omas who was doing her housemanship at the time had re-called a story to me, then in my fourth year, she had made clinical year absorbable and easy for me as she handed down her methods to me and believe me, they worked.

This particular story was one hell of a fascinator to me and i am almost convinced it will teach you something or more.

As an MS (medical student) you had access to alot of work but you are always supervised even when you become an HO (House officer), you now become the official house doctor and just like house girls or house boys, you are literarily the errand person, the clean up after person and sometimes the cause of all the problems in Africa.

A patient was brought to the clinic and she had the privilege of clerking first of course before presenting to the medical officer for review. The girls mother was right outside the clinic waiting restlessly to find out what the doctor would say.

Seventeen years, female, pale, generalised body weakness, almost cold as ice she exclaimed, and she asked her patient "when was your last menstrual period?" and the patient responded with all the energy she could muster " i am not pregnant we didn't have sex, we just did fore play" taken aback, she asked her patient "when did this foreplay take place?" "three weeks ago " she responded. "ok we will do a quick pregnancy test first just so we can rule it out" hysterical, sweating all over this time her patient responded repeatedly whispering " ah doctor, my mother will kill me, there must be a mistake i am still a virgin he did not put his thing in my thing he just rubbed it around me and he came. there has to be a mistake"

At this point Doctor sends for her mother and requests an emergency ultrasound scan and of course a pregnancy test. Results came back to the clinic in almost no time and showed pregnancy to be positive "lobatan oh, ahhhh omo yi ti pa mi o" the mother yells " omo ale, o ti pami o, who did this to you" at this point after some few slaps and the doctor's intervention the following dialogue took place.

Doctor: madam please calm down, this rage will change nothing please let us reason out together and first find out how it happened and who is responsible.

Mother: Doctor, no problem oh, i am so busy everyday getting their school fees in order and this girl has killed me. she is always by my side so what time did she know man? i brought her up well o but she has brought shame to my family ahhh oma se o

Patient: (sobbing seriously at this point) i swear i am still a virgin i have never had sex before

Mother: shut that mouth of yours you can still lie? this result says six weeks pregnant mogbe and you are still lying? ahhhhhh you have killed me

Doctor: (at this point has had enough of the noise) ok madam, its simple, i will do a vaginal examination now just to check if her hymen is still intact so we can rule that out just for clarity

Mother: Hmmn doctor please don't disturb yourself she will tell me what happened when we get home.

Doctor: (now doing a thorough abdominal examination and discovers the hymen is still 100 percent intact laughs out loud in utter disbelief and informs the mother right away) madam, the hymen of your daughter is still 
intact oh.

Doctor: All it takes is a drop, there are millions of sperm racing through 1 drop of semen what are the odds?

At this point her mother was even more annoyed that the hymen was intact but she still manage to get herself pregnant, odes of badluck she called it. The boy was informed and you can only imagine how ridiculous it sounded that he was responsible for a pregnancy, when he never had any form of penetration with this girl.

Her mother insisted she enrolled for antenatal and in four weeks she was the first pregnant virgin to enroll for antenatal during her entire stay in that hospital. This is a true life story. What do you feel, your comment count.

TIPS ON Dating Etiquette

Unfortunately, singles no longer adhere to the simple formalities that should go along with courting someone. Now that we are in the digital age many people are not putting in any effort when it comes to dating. They just hide behind their electronics and seek the attention of others via email or texts. Don’t be one of those people. When it comes to dating you get out of it what you put into it. So put in some effort and use the proper dating etiquette next time you meet someone new.
Call and ask the person out
Don’t hide behind electronics. Pick up the phone and let your date hear your voice. If you are thinking of pursuing a relationship with this person they should be worth the minimal effort it takes to pick up the phone and dial their number.
Confirm the date the day before
Be sure to confirm the date the day before. You don’t want to leave your date wondering if you’ve changed your mind. A lot of people are flakes so give your date reassurance that you are not one of those people. Sending a quick “I’m looking forward to tomorrow I’ll see you at 6:00” is the polite thing to do and it takes less than five minutes. So there is no reasonable excuse not to.
If you have to cancel do so at least 48 hours in advance
You should give your date enough prior notice so that they have time to make other plans. Be respectful of other people’s time. And when you cancel you should immediately reschedule for a later date in the near future.
Stand when your date enters the room
Be respectful. If you get there before your date when he or she arrives you should stand up, make eye contact and greet your date as if you’re happy to see them.  And you made a date with them so you should be excited to see them.  Show some enthusiasm!
Put your phone away and keep it there
This one should go without saying. You should be paying attention to your date not taking calls or texting. Also, don’t pull out your smart phone to look something up and fact check your date. It’s annoying and unnecessary.
If you initiated the date pick up the check
This is etiquette 101. Don’t just awkwardly look away when the bills comes. If you ask someone out you should pay.
Don’t say you’re going to call unless you’re going to call
Saying you’re going to call when you have no intentions of calling is called lying. Lying is rude and immoral and there is no place for it if you want to find a healthy relationship. So don’t do it.
Make sure to implement these dating etiquette tips whenever you meet someone new. Practice makes perfect!

Word Connect; Word Create!: WHY YOU NEED A BLOG!

Word Connect; Word Create!: WHY YOU NEED A BLOG!: WHY YOU NEED A BLOG!  (BE ONE OF THE FEW TO KNOW BECAUSE THE USE OF BLOG IS NOT COMMON IN NIGERIA NOW) - It helps you to communicate...

Word Connect; Word Create!: BEFORE FIRING ANY PROBLEMATIC EMPLOYEE, WHAT YOU M...

Word Connect; Word Create!: BEFORE FIRING ANY PROBLEMATIC EMPLOYEE, WHAT YOU M...: Presented by - Abayomi John Elliott   (Culled from Success Digest) When it comes to the issue of firing a problematic employee, y...

BEFORE FIRING ANY PROBLEMATIC EMPLOYEE, WHAT YOU MUST DO



Presented by - Abayomi John Elliott  (Culled from Success Digest)

When it comes to the issue of firing a problematic employee, you need not be in a hurry; otherwise you might be doing more harm to yourself than good. This is important especially if the employee holds a sensitive or critical position in the in the company. The following two things are advisable before you take your final decision.

Review the employee’s terms of employment
You should take out time to review the employee’s contract whether it is you that have been asking for too much from him, things that are not in his contract. You must ask yourself if you are demanding for more than what he can bear or is expected of him without adequate compensation? Is he due for promotion and he was not promoted? You may have to ask even more to make sure you are not the cause of his recent misbehavior that warrants firing him.

Disengage gradually
After reviewing the staff’s terms of employment and you find out his negative behavior to his duties is not as a result of any ill-treatment from your company, and that you really need to fire him, it is advisable to do it gradually and systematically.
You can get somebody to learn what that employee is doing. For instance, if you run a fashion boutique and this individual is responsible for handling cash in that business, to fire him on the spot will not be advisable, you need to get somebody that will take up job, but he will be groomed and train in a different place where nobody knows except yourself for security reason. Anybody you know that is in the same fashion business with you can help you train such a new person for the period you want before bring him or her to start the job without been a novice, then you can fire the employee in question.

Please make sure that not one person handle sensitive position in your business, and before then, you would have started to take off some of his responsibilities gradually without him knowing your intentions, and what that mean is that you have to be on ground during that period if your business is running with a staff strength of less than 5.


Firing a capable employee due to indiscipline and misbehavior can be a tough one, hard and difficult decision to take by anybody especially when you think of the cost and the efforts required in replacing him. However, for the sake of the success of your business, it’s a decision you must take. The ideas so far, should help you make the needed change smoothly without it affecting your business.